I’m about to dive off the deep end with this one, so hang tight. Picture this: ancient cave art—like, the oldest doodles from Montignac-Lascaux, which our fancy friends call Magdalenian. These doodles are from folks who lived, oh, say, 20,000 to 10,000 years back. Was there another group scribbling before them? Maybe some Neanderthals? Yeah, possibly, but mainly in Spain. These were less “Picasso with a purpose” and more “hey, here’s my handprint and a dot for good measure.” Not exactly the Louvre, but hey, neither am I.
So yeah, Neanderthal art? A tad underwhelming if we’re being honest. Picture a critic from today, but swap the monocle and beret for, I dunno, a caveman club? “Hot Tub Time Machine” levels of confusion, amirite?
Oh, speaking of now—Jon’s on cloud nine with his shiny new Switch 2 fresh from bestbuy.com. He’s braving the chaos of Mario Kart World, getting bombarded by a relentless wave of red shells. It’s almost like meditation, the calm amidst the cartoony storm. Oh, and get this—there’s a new Splatoon single-player game too. How do these things even connect? Beats me; I just ride the wave.
Midway through, we hit pause to keep our sanity intact, then dive back in. Guillaume’s hyping up F-Zero GX on the Switch 2. Trust me, he’s all about the thrill—sounds almost menacing. And his latest obsession? Valfaris—a shooter where everything’s just big, brutal, and loud. Go figure.
Greg chimes in about the new Splatoon 3 patch, tested on the Switch 2. He’s all rave reviews about the HDR and that buttery-smooth framerate. I swear Nintendo should hire him for their promo gigs. Hire me too while you’re at it!
And then there’s me, tinkering with Fantasy Life i: The Girl Who Steals Time on the Switch 2. Time thieves. Who would’ve thought? Childhood trauma in gaming form. Early days yet—I just cracked the tutorial, but stay tuned for more next week, assuming life doesn’t throw a spanner in the works.
Now—got some Paleolithic sketches lying around? Send them my way.
