Alright, so I’m sitting here, wondering if anyone else feels the way I do about Elden Ring’s servers being all weird. They went offline for like… three hours? Seriously, that’s a lifetime in gamer years! Anyway, they were fixing stuff because — surprise, surprise — there’s another patch. Patch 1.02.1 or whatever they’re calling it. Don’t know who comes up with these names. Probably some hidden genius in their basement.
So, about this Storm Ruler thing. They jazzed it up big time. I mean, you’ve got this skill, and it’s like lightning-fast now. Charging it up, bam! Done in no time. The blade animation too — it’s like they added extra chili to your hotdog. Spicy.
Oh, and let’s not forget you can smash things up real good even without the storm mojo charged. Call it a power trip, or maybe it’s just me overhyping it? Eh, who knows.
Anyway, remember that Yhorm guy from Dark Souls 3? Storm Ruler kinda lets you do a number on bosses like him. Slice and dice, right? The Everdark Sovereign Augur, or whatever fancy name it has, is in for a real show. But I rambled. Back on track — the nitty-gritty bug fixes followed the buff parade. Loads of ’em.
There’s this picture, by the way (not sure why I noticed), of Wylder being tossed around by frost attacks. Looks like they’re dancing with a blender. Weirdly mesmerizing, actually.
Picture this: bugs being squashed. Like, you could only move and wave the camera but nothing else. Sounds like a horror film if you ask me. Oh, and guards who were supposed to trigger these cool effects but didn’t? Fixed. Big time.
And, okay — imagine this: being locked onto eggs. It’s not as cool as it sounds. Anyway, target locks, stagger damage drama, dance-in-a-blender attacks from bosses like Caligo, things got dicey. Now, they’re smoother. I think. Where was I? Oh, bug fixes, right!
There was this flask thing that was being a diva and wouldn’t heal your HP when relics were involved. Gone, like last year’s fashions. Plus, things were getting all Portuguese at one point, loads of player chaos. Yeah, translations were acting up too.
The PS5 crowd was miffed because the UI just…poof, vanished! But they sorted it out. Probably.
Oh, and! They’ve got some mega guide for tackling new bosses. Nightlords or Nightfogs or whatever — it’s all out there. New challenges, new guides. It’s a whole buffet for the brave.
Now, if you excuse me, I’m off to where my gaming heart takes me. Happy slashing!