AMD Launches EPYC 4005 Series Workstation CPUs, Boasting Up to 16 Zen 5 Cores and Impressive Performance

Hey, so guess what. AMD’s thrown something new at us—yep, those EPYC 4005 CPUs. I mean, they say it’s all about scalability or whatever. But does anyone else just get lost in these tech wars? Intel this, AMD that. Anyway, where was I—oh yeah! So AMD’s all like, “Here’s our new toy. It’s great for small businesses, IT service hosts, blah blah.” It aims to beat Intel’s 6th-Gen Xeons in price vs. performance. Like, what even is “perf/$”? Sounds like techies trying to sound cool. But hey, no judgment!

Uh, check out this pretty boring picture of a chip. Does anyone else think CPUs kinda look like tiny cities? Or am I just seeing patterns where none exist?

Right… something about the AM5 socket. It’s apparently the same one they used before, which seems smart, I guess? Efficiency, innovation… those business buzzwords they always throw around. They ran tests on something called a Phoronix suite, and—get this—the EPYC outdid the Xeon by 1.83 times. No idea why I remember that. Numbers usually just slide off my brain like rain on a windshield.

Oh, and some guy, Derek Dicker? (Honestly, couldn’t help but giggle a bit at the name. Immature, I know.) He’s all about performance, simplicity, affordability. The holy trinity for budget-stressed companies.

Apparently, AMD’s got big pals backing them: Lenovo, Gigabyte, Supermicro, names that ring bells, right? Maybe slightly annoying bells that remind you of tech stores and outdated cables you have in a drawer somewhere.

Oh, and hey, there’s this nifty little table I’ll spare you from though. Lists out models, specs, prices—not really bedtime reading, you know? But if you care, prices range from “not too bad” to “maybe eat ramen for a month,” depending on your wallet’s mood.

Lenovo’s chipping in from the sidelines too, talking about AI and affordability like they’ve got a crystal ball or something. Or maybe they do, who knows what these bigwigs have stashed away. Another random pic of a chip. Looks like a squared-off city block on a gray day.

And that’s the scoop, more or less. CPUs, tech wars, and a dash of chaos—as per usual, right?