Sure, here we go:
So, Diablo 4 just decided to drop this bomb of an update note, right? They’re throwing out buffs for all six classes, polishing up the Sins of the Horadrim thing, and doing some serious bug stomping. The whole shebang is set to hit on July 15. Mark your calendars, or don’t. I’m not your boss.
Jump back to July 1 — bam, Diablo 4 launched Season 9, aptly named Sins of the Horadrim. Big stuff happened there, really. We’re talking juicy story bits about the Horadrim, a rematch with Astaroth (with a twist!), and these neat features like Horadric Spells, Jewels, Strongrooms — the works.
And now, this new update — yeah, the one coming on the 15th — is all about balance tweaks, bug cleaning, and other tweaks that only the most dedicated players might notice. But hey, there’s a slew of buffs waiting for every class. Barbarians hit the jackpot with pile-on bonuses, way more than others. It’s like special treatment for the melee crowd. I’m slightly envious.
Then there’s a whole list of other “quality-of-life” upgrades cozied into this update. Like, picking up Horadric Arcana in their seasonal gig will happen automatically now, whoopee! And, Myriad Stones are getting even better with speed boosts that stack, and Horadric Artifacts getting super speedy and uninterruptible in those lovely Nightmare Dungeons. Sounds dreamy, if you’re into that.
Oh, the bug fixes! They’re like, endless. Quests behaving badly, UI having a bad day, enemies disappearing – it’s like a party of glitches. They even made Astaroth loud enough this time. Thanks, guys. Oh, and some good news for you Rogue players – you can score this sweet Glensoul Arbalest crossbow just by kicking back and watching three hours of any Diablo 4 streamer on Twitch until July 19. Gotta love free swag.
Okay, let’s dig into some nitty-gritty patch notes, but only a little because I’m getting dizzy from all these bullet points.
Balance Updates:
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Spiritborn & Pestilence: Seemingly juiced up, numbers are flying upward — which I guess is nice if you play those classes.
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Barbarian’s Party: Seriously, these guys got a mountain of love. Everything from Battle Trance to Whirlwind is getting beefed up, going from mild to massive damage with some Lucky Hit Chances doubling. No favoritism, Blizzard? Suuure.
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Druid & Crone’s Stick: They’re getting a makeover too. Crone’s stick skills are apparently sky-high now. Handy, if you’re walking around with a twig hitting things.
- Necromancer & Golem Giggles: More damage bonuses on top of more damage bonuses. Necros are spoiling their minions rotten.
Bug Fix Whispers:
So there are a bunch of fixes around quests, strongroom antics, dungeon weirdness – some monsters just couldn’t stay in their designated corners. Who knew? Plus, the usual UI hiccups like wrong armor classes when you’re ogling shiny stuff as a Sorcerer.
Anyway, this patch is like a massive sweeping hand over an overly cluttered game board. Or something like that. Who knew I’d ever write an analogy like that? But, hey, it’s Diablo, so I kinda love it even when it’s in chaos. Or maybe because of it. Who knows!
Enjoy the update, whenever it happens to load into your life. And hey, maybe keep an eye on those Barbarian bros – they might be having a bit too much fun with all those buffs. Just saying.