Your controller’s acting up, huh?
Honestly, at Radio Free Nintendo, we’re suckers for Donkey Kong. It’s kind of a thing we’ve joked about forever. I mean, who came up with calling him “The Big Ape”? Maybe it’s fitting. Maybe not. But let’s go off-script a bit because, well, why not? Suddenly, I’m diving into The Center for Great Apes’ take on what makes an ape an ape.
First off, hair vs. fur. Hair grows endlessly, apparently. DK’s got a set of hair, so check. Fingernails instead of claws? Well, his fists are clenched all the time, but I dug up an image showing nails. Opposable thumbs—again, thanks to those fists. Brains? Oh, totally. I mean, who else ties a tie or rides vehicles? Marmots don’t do that!
Prehensility? Back to the fists. Padded fingers with prints, though? Haven’t really spotted those. And DK’s got binocular vision because, you know, his lifestyle kind of demands it. Reduced sense of smell? No clue.
So, I reckon DK’s indeed an ape. Now, there’s this nugget I stumbled on: folks get mixed up between apes and monkeys. Apes live longer, are bigger, smarter—mainly, no tails for apes. So, guess what Diddy? You’re not an ape. And, harsh as it sounds, you won’t outlast DK. Sorry, buddy.
Switching tracks—DK Bananza had a Direct on Wednesday. Showed some gameplay, and get this—DK’s new partner is a teen Pauline. Everyone’s buzzing about the implications, but let’s not beat a dead horse. Key takeaways? Pauline’s human-ish, therefore ape. Diddy’s not. And yeah, Diddy’s timeline is shorter.
It could be that DK’s angling for a successor, someone who’s not… well, doomed.
Now, let’s pivot—James went on about Fantasy Life i: The Girl Who Steals Time. So many layers and tasks; it’s basically chaos. Mine ore, craft tools, cut trees—it’s a loop of confusion. Seriously.
After a breather, we’re back with more rambling. Jon’s been offloading consoles at GameStop to swap for better ones. But then? Special Agent Steve from GameStop’s security decided otherwise. Surprise! Meanwhile, Greg’s updating on Mario Kart World and F-Zero GX. It’s suspicious that two major Switch 2 games are race-themed with unique single player modes. Mario Kart World is a massive deal.
Guillaume and James played with the GameChat function on Switch 2, testing games like F-Zero GX and Fantasy Life i. And, Guillaume’s had a go with the Switch 2 Pro Controller.
In a lighter moment, we attempted mash-up marketing campaigns for Mario Kart World companies. Got ideas? Throw them our way.
And a quick aside—I called DK “The Big Ape” like a nickname. It’s not a battle name; he didn’t choose it. But it’s stuck, and I’ll probably keep messing up terms until I’m long gone.
